I was speaking yesterday to an incredibly accomplished woman. Articulate and beautiful, she’s the CEO of a major Phoenix corporation AND the director and founder of an extraordinary nonprofit serving women and children in need.

During our conversation, she said something that I hear all too often from women business owners.

“I don’t like to promote myself.”

Over the years, I have heard this CONSISTENTLY from highly successful women clients. These take-charge creatures who never hesitate to go after what they want can’t stand to tell the world what they’ve managed to accomplish. It’s fascinating, but also a mystery.

What the heck is going on?

What’s interesting is that my male clients, for the most part, have no issue with self-promotion. They will gladly tell others of their successes, and not in a boastful way. It’s all about making others aware of what they’ve managed to achieve, and that’s not a bad thing.

I was working with a successful young woman attorney a couple of years ago who told me, flat out, I don’t want to “sound like I’m bragging.”  Fair enough, but how will potential clients know what you’ve done unless you tell them? It was almost like she was ashamed of her accolades.

This has been puzzling me for so many years that I decided to try to figure it out.
Back in the day (and I say that since I’m old, or at least oldish), I was taught to be “seen and not heard.” 

I remember my mother saying this (while my surprisingly forward-thinking dad always told me the opposite). Girls were to be pretty and quiet, polite and sweet.

As the only girl in the family, I was even told (again by my mom) to “purposely” lose to my brothers in board games. Something I never did because I was pretty darn good at Risk and Monopoly and many a game board was tossed across the living room when I won.

Could these old-fashioned notions still be holding women back? That you shouldn’t compete with boys and not bring attention to yourself? That it wasn’t feminine?  I was even told that boys didn’t like smart girls when I brought home straight As.

In a time when more women are obtaining higher educations than men and are in the workplace more than ever before (and in high-powered positions, mind you), they still have a hard time telling others “Hey, I’ve worked hard, and I deserve some recognition.”

 I like to think that Millennials and Gen Z (not sure about Gen X) don’t even have an inkling that these attitudes used to prevail, but I’m not sure.

With my Millennial daughter, I always downgraded the importance of appearance and tried to focus on academic achievements and extracurricular activities like sports. In her instance, the sports part of the equation usually came out ahead since she has a great arm (softball).

Women need to know that it’s OK to be successful. It’s perfectly fine to tell others, “I did this.” Own it. If you do something great, you have every right to talk about it! Don’t be so humble. If anyone else thinks you’re bragging, it’s their problem, not yours. Let them be jealous of your achievements, but don’t dim your light due to their opinions. If they don’t like it - tough.

Think of it this way. Your story, and your achievements, can be an inspiration to others. Why deprive them of such a gift?

One of the best parts of what I do, marketing and public relations, is that I get to brag about others. I get to say the things that people are reluctant to say about themselves. I get to be the cheerleader and tell the story for them. Rah, rah! 

In 2015, very new to the PR game in Phoenix, I had signed on a new PR client:  A popular and talented photographer - who just so happened to be very handsome and always fashionably dressed. He had decided to branch out into a new venture:  Male Makeovers.

It was a clever idea, and when I pitched it to a large local publication, they immediately jumped on the story. The writer assigned to the piece did a wonderful job with the subsequent article. We were “good to go,” in terms of writing, but the editor needed before and after photos - and he needed them quickly.

The client sent me a “before” photo of himself showing an attractive guy, casually dressed in a polo shirt, hair slightly mussed – a bit rough around the edges.  Perfect!

I then received the after photo to illustrate the result of a male makeover. In the picture, he had his hair smoothly combed back and was wearing a dress shirt, tie, and glasses.

The Problem: He looked better in the BEFORE photo than in the after photo! I thought that I might be wrong about this, so I sent both photos to the writer. She felt the same way. What to do? We were under a deadline, and he (the client), felt it was a good photo.  I had to submit those images.

The Mistake: Due to the nature of the article, I knew that the “after” photo could make or break the piece. If it was a fabulous photo, it would sell the story to the public immediately and possibly even attract national attention.

To this day, I wish I had been adamant about him retaking that photo. The client may have been offended, or he may have not had the time to redo it, but we could have gotten a more powerful image.

While well-written, the story didn’t attract much interest (which is unfortunate because it was good).  It ran on the covers of a couple of community editions of the paper, but not in two other zones as promised. Why? The piece just wasn’t that strong given the photos, so it was an editorial decision.  The client was upset about this and contacted the paper to complain. The writer and editor let me know about the complaints and emails were flying through cyberspace. I was as tactful as possible and did all I could to defuse the situation. Things blew over.

Why This Worked:  The editor and writer were impressed with the way I handled the situation. When it was time to pitch a story idea for another client, a new STEM engineering program for kids, the editor assigned one of his best new writers and did a business profile. The resulting article was shared 375 times on social media and the company’s programs sold out.
Of course, this is of no consolation to the other client, but this is a reminder that being gracious can pay off – and never, ever, be afraid to speak up if you think something can be improved.

The Moral of this Story:  Images have never been more important in terms of marketing and PR usage. Today, you simply must have good hi-res visuals that can illustrate a story and can be used digitally and in published pieces.  Photography is one thing you do not want to skimp on. 

In the early 2000s I was working as a Regional Account Manager of a consulting firm based in the Dallas area.  I traveled often, appearing at large trade shows across the country targeting petroleum distributors.

My company had an upcoming big trade show in Las Vegas. I needed some inexpensive treats to give to the people who stopped by our booth.

I asked our very creative office manager to find some giveaways. I’m not sure where, but she discovered delicious taffy candies that also happened to have the coloring of a cow. This was a clever and cost-effective find. and fit in perfectly with the fact that our company was based in Texas.

At the show, I arranged our marketing collateral on the table with the taffy casually strewn about. They were so cute and unusual that people would stop by just to see what they were.

The Mistake: Do you know what happens when you eat taffy? You can’t talk! I would be chatting, prospects would pop a piece of candy in their mouths, and they were completely unable to speak for a couple of minutes. (I still wonder if anyone needed dental work after that show.)

Why This Worked: I soon realized that I had a captive audience! I was able to give the spiel about our services without interruption - or objection.  This is what I call an HMA - a “Happy Marketing Accident.”

Moral of this Story: You do not, I repeat, you do not have to spend a lot of money on expensive branded giveaways. Sometimes the cheapest items can produce a great result and make your company stand out from the crowd. Just be sure to choose something that fits into the theme of your company, show, and target audience.  
 
 
 

In 2007, I was working for a popular Santa Fe nonprofit when the Executive Director announced that we would be hosting an art auction to benefit our programs. There was only a short amount of time to promote the event, which was to feature the donated works of 100+ local artists.

In my role, I needed to attract the attention of the most prominent local newspaper in the hopes they would cover the event. None of their arts and entertainment reporters, however, were returning my calls. Zip. Nada. Nothing. Now what?

Ever mindful of our buck-fifty nonprofit marketing budget, I discovered some small, branded coffee cups in a storage room and had an idea. Perhaps a weird idea, but what the heck. I had to try something - the clock was ticking!

I placed event tickets with an invitation into the cups and decided to take matters into my own hands. I was going to stop by their office to introduce myself, drop off the (albeit somewhat cheesy) gifts, and tell them all about our event. 

Well, when I got to their offices near the Santa Fe Plaza no one was there!

As I looked around for human life forms, I stumbled upon a wall of mailroom inboxes. Bingo! I squeezed the cups into the cubbies of the reporters and snuck out the same way I had come in. FYI: As I was wearing my customary 3-inch heels on the brick floors, I wasn’t exactly stealthy. 

Why This Was a Mistake:  New to the PR game, I didn't know that reporters are often told to refuse gifts to avoid compromising journalistic integrity (although some publications and media outlets are more loosey goosey about this than others). My little gifts could have easily offended the people I was trying to reach, and, even worse, they could have called my boss to complain!

If you don’t know a publication’s policy on accepting gifts, be sure to inquire first to avoid putting a journalist in an uncomfortable situation. At the very least, ask permission before handing a journalist a gift. 

Why this Worked:  I’m honestly not sure if this little stunt was the reason why, but the publication DID cover the auction, and the quickly thrown together event was a success. They became interested in our other functions and from that point forward the publication was more receptive to my pitches.

The (Marketing) Moral of this Story:  When you are not getting through to a media outlet, or even a potential client, try a different approach. This will help your business or nonprofit stand out from your competition. Be creative. Be different. Be memorable. 

In 2008, while working as the Marketing and Communications Director of a Santa Fe nonprofit, I was informed that our agency would be co-hosting a Renaissance Fair at El Rancho De Las Golondrinas – a beautiful living museum located just south of the city. As part of the event promotion, I participated in multiple radio interviews in Santa Fe and Albuquerque.
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The day before the event (and let me tell you, putting on a Renaissance Fair is a BIG deal with many working parts), I was to be interviewed on a popular drive time show on KSFR, a public radio station, in Santa Fe. The host was Diego Mulligan (gotta love that name).

When you appear on a show of this type you are forbidden to talk about ticket prices. The host told me that, in no uncertain terms, I could not mention the fact that our tickets were only $10. The admission of the competing event that weekend, an airshow, was substantially more.

One of the attractions at our fair was to be a 7 ft tall Dragon, an elaborate and super cool costume created by a popular local designer. 

During the show the host and I chatted about the scheduled festivities which included jousting, belly dancers, a beer garden, and, of course, a Renaissance Fair staple, turkey legs. (Speaking of turkey legs, you have no idea how hard it can be to find a turkey leg vendor in New Mexico, but that can be a whole other blog.)

As the interview began to wind down, I knew I had to come up with something that would really make people want to go to our event. After all, this was the culmination of the hard work of hundreds of volunteers, and a special occasion for the community. I didn’t want to let them down, and a lot of people listened to this show.

At a few points during the discussion, I could tell the host thought I was going to mention the low-ticket price – which was a huge selling point. He had his finger hovering over what I like to call the “Golden Buzzer” to cut me off at any time.

With only seconds to spare, I suddenly blurted out:

“You can see an airplane any day, but you can’t always see a 7 ft tall dragon!”

That made the host crack up, and he told me right after the show that I had a great radio personality.

The event ended up being a huge success with over 4,300 attendees, which wasn’t too shabby for a first-time event. The Santa Fe Renaissance Fair is now a popular annual event. 

Why This Was a Mistake: Technically speaking, you should never disparage your competition. It’s tacky, and it also brings attention to your competitor, when you want to keep the focus on your product or event.
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Why It Worked:  It brought a little levity to the conversation, and it was a nice parting shot. You always want to finish up an interview with something memorable. 

As a public relations representative, I’ve arranged over 100 free (called “earned media”) television segments for small businesses and nonprofits. Free segments happen when a story is deemed newsworthy to a producer and is of interest to viewers.
 
Paid segments are usually taped in advance and can be edited - but they are also often very expensive. When you work with businesses (like I do) that typically don’t have huge budgets, earned media the way to go. 
 
A lot of work goes into a TV segment behind the scenes. A press release and “pitch” with images are sent to a producer and IF their interest in piqued, a segment is coordinated – either at the media outlet’s studio or on location. A lot of things have to happen in order to get that 3.5 minutes worth of airtime, and it usually happens fast. 
 
When a TV producer wants you on a show, it often happens within a few days. Hundreds of businesses are vying for that precious time. If a station is interested in your story, you need to jump on it or risk losing several thousand dollars worth of free exposure. You snooze, you lose.
 
Being on TV can be exciting, and a bit nerve wracking, but something often happens when a person sees themselves in a segment for the first time.
 
So, you’ve just been on your local network’s morning show talking about a product, service or event.  What usually happens next:
 
“Wow, that was so much fun. When can I do it again???”
 
Then, you get to watch the clip:
 
“OMG, I was horrible!” Then, “Do I really look like that?” or “Oh, I forget to mention …” happens every time.
 
I always warn clients that they may be shocked the first time they see themselves on TV.  It’s human nature. Let’s face it – we are ALL so hard on ourselves, especially women.
 
But what you see, or think you see, is not what OTHERS see. You are looking at the flaws - others don’t see the flaws that you may be imagining.
 
When I often tell clients is this:
This first time you see your segment you will probably hate it.
The second time you watch, you will think “hey, that wasn’t so bad.”
The third time, you will say, “you know, I was really pretty good.”
 
Like anything in life, the more you do it the better you get. I’ve found that even with experienced spokespeople, some key piece of information is forgotten. A few minutes goes by very quickly!
 
Hey, none of us are perfect. Always be sure to purchase your segment both for your archives and to rewatch it so you can critique your performance and see what you can do better next time. 

The other day I was speaking to a business owner and they told me, “I don’t know why I’m not getting any sales.”

I asked her how she was promoting her high-end services for professionals. She said, “Well, I’m on Facebook all the time and Twitter. I’m on Instagram. I’ve been publishing posts on LinkedIn but nothing is happening."

I’m writing this because I hear this all the time - business owners who spend all their precious time on Social Media. Results aren’t showing but they continue to pump out information day after day, month after month.

There is that OLD saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Yada, yada, yada.

If you are on Social Media constantly and nothing is working – stop. Take a break.  I know it can be addictive, it can be fun, but it may also be a crutch stopping you from exploring other creative options to market your business.

Don’t get me wrong - Social Media is one of the most ingenious marketing tools invented.  It’s a quick and free way to get information out in a short amount of time. It’s easy to use. Anybody can do it. It’s wonderful for small businesses with limited marketing budgets. It can be fabulous for event promotion. With compelling images and clever messaging it can be extremely effective.  

For some B to C businesses it’s a perfect fit and since Social Media is so accessible and easy to use, everyone has also become an “expert.”

The problem is, the perfect client for your business may not even be “Social.”

I know many highly successful people who are not on Facebook, LinkedIn or any other social platform.  They have lots of money to spend but if you are only on Social Media they aren’t going to spend it with you.

I also know droves of people getting off of Social Media. As the economy improves they are too busy making money to spend their days checking status updates. The wealthy CEO you may be trying to reach doesn’t have time to be constantly checking their Facebook account. 

Are you curious about other available marketing tools? Reach out to us today for our free “Is Social Media the Best Fit for Me?” cheat sheet.